By Darren Hodgson
Special to NurseZone
One of the best ways to build confidence, self-esteem and overcome anxiety is to just do it. You're caught in a vicious circle and the only way to break free is to do what you're afraid of.
You need to build your self-esteem and confidence level. The only way to do this is by doing something you're petrified of, but you can't do it because you're petrified of it. Round and round you go and your self-esteem and confidence never increase.
You must feel the fear and do it anyway. It's the only way to break free of the perpetual circle of low self-esteem and zero self-confidence.
Now you want to know how you're going to achieve it. Well there are a myriad of ways of doing it but it could take you years of searching to find them.
Here's five tips to get you started on breaking the perpetual circle or downward spiral and turning it into an ever-increasing spiral of higher self-esteem and increased self-confidence.
- Put yourself in a resourceful state. Think of all the times when against all odds you've succeeded. I don't care who you are; everybody has had times like these at some point in their lives. Think of at least five, and when you're feeling great just go for it. Do whatever it is you're afraid of.
- Rationalize it. Think about it logically, not emotionally. Is there really anything to be afraid of or is it just in the mind. If it's in the mind--which 99 percent of fears are--then why are you afraid of it.
- Change the pictures. When you're scared you make pictures in your mind. These pictures will be big, bright, colorful, detailed, clear and moving. You can probably here whatever sounds are happening around you at the time when you are fearful and just the thought of it makes you scared.
Take these pictures and sounds and change them. Close your eyes and see the picture, make it black and white, fuzzy and undetailed, still and small. Make sounds dull and unclear, almost inaudible with a hiss over the top. Now take picture and move it far away into the distance so that it no longer bothers you.
The fear will now be almost no existent.
- Start small. When you want to overcome a fear don't go straight for the largest one, unless you know you can handle it; in which case it's not really that big and never should have been a problem. Start with something small, just outside what you normally feel comfortable with.
- Chunk it down. Sometimes seeing whatever it is you're afraid of as too large to even attempt can cause a feeling of fear. Break it down into smaller hurdles and do one hurdle at a time. Congratulating yourself at the end of every hurdle. Before you know it you'll have overcome the fear and you'll be wondering why it ever bothered you.
Once you've done this your self-esteem and confidence will increase and so will the boundaries of what you feel comfortable with. Now do something else and something else. Soon what you thought was an insurmountable obstacle will be a walk in the park. And your newfound confidence will permeate throughout the rest of your life.
Darren Hodgson has been studying personal growth for the past 10 years and he's the author of "Obliterate Your Shyness."
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